Do relationships in the corporate world teach us something?

Nathan goes to work. His employer keeps berating him, telling him he’s stupid and not up to the mark. Nathan has learnt to stay quiet and not react. Nathan knows it is not his fault, but he also knows he could lose his job and cannot afford to face his boss. He has a family to feed. There is a realness to Nathan and his circumstances. In therapy, Nathan realises that not standing up for himself or speaking out is not just related to his work. Nathan has grown up fearing authority figures. Nathan freezes in front of authority figures in general. At interviews, Nathan is asked, “How do you deal with conflicts?” Nathan feels this is the most challenging question; it simply hits a nerve for him.

 

This is a familiar story among corporate employees. Some are senior; others are not. Many, like Nathan, attend therapy describing anxieties and depression, feeling demotivated and reluctant to get out of bed for work. The power dynamics between employee and employer resemble those between a school bully and the bullied or an authoritative parent and a fearful, anxious child.

Such power dynamics impact many employees. The immobilisation of their nervous system results from their current situation, where they feel trapped, and from their past, which they believe still affects them.

One might confront the employer through aggression and anger, or by withdrawing—avoiding work, taking days off, or attempting to please or become compliant. With each response, the employer’s reaction may escalate, become more commanding, or the abuse may cease. Sometimes, previous coping strategies with authority figures resurface.

 

A child may react to an authoritative parent with fight, flight, submission, or freeze. They might hide away, comply, or try to please. Why is this important? Employees like Nathan face many more mental health and emotional problems—feeling trapped, unable to speak, or as if there is no way out. Therapy can help by processing the past, unpacking the early defences a child used to adapt to authority for survival. Recognising and exploring these different parts that use various ways to survive often continues into adulthood. Interestingly, the universe often presents moments that show these early defences are still active, and if unnoticed, they may replay and persist in life.

 

Corporate abuse by employers will persist if employees’ child parts are activated in the workplace—these primitive or early defences are repeatedly triggered. Re-traumatisation continues, and the individual feels powerless.

 

How can this be addressed? Often, power cannot be accessed simply through positive pep talks or advice from a therapist. These deep-rooted defences, established within one’s internal system, need to be safely accessed and are often guarded by younger parts of the system.

 

Internal Family Systems therapy helps individuals safely find and connect with those parts within themselves that operate in the present moment. As children, we learn to find ways to survive in harsh, tormenting environments. We have no safe person to turn to, so a child must devise strategies to keep themselves navigating.

 

Protective parts of the child respond with primitive defences to ensure safety, establish control, and develop behaviours that become habitual. The child who previously had limited resources remains hesitant to trust the resources available in the present adult self. The old injuries that caused powerlessness and helplessness are activated. The wounds of the past are uncovered in the present, and wounds are re-exposed. Often, when tormentors in the corporate world abuse employees, trailheads open up to old wounds. By working with our past, we pave the way to the present and, many times, to the future.

 

Dr Millia is a Consultant psychiatrist, Certified Internal Family Systems therapist, and Trauma specialist working at the First Psychiatry Clinic, Dubai.